As all of you I’ve been thinking and listening a lot these days about what black people is saying. 

I’ve never considered myself a racist (meaning I’ve never judge consciously nobody for the color of their skin). I always thought that you can be against a practice, tradition, moment of history of a culture or even a religion but never judge a human for their origin but for who they are. So I’ve never treat nobody different for were they are from or the color of their skin or any other racial cause. And it’s still difficult for me to understand in a mental level than this racism can exist and that some people can kill someone for the color of their skin. It’s something that my mind is not able to understand and I even find myself thinking: no, no, that’s impossible there must be another reason, because it’s something I cannot understand. 

But I live in Spain and here things are different, even if racism is everywhere in the world. In my city we have a big plan to be inclusive in all the school with the immigrants and unfortunately there is racism as probably all the world but in the schools I have been and with my family and friends it’s strange that somebody says something racist. And if someone says like: the black waiter, the rest will always say: what?? Don’t say that. Or even with coronavirus if someone said: I am afraid to go to a Chinese restaurant. The rest would say: Why? You don’t know if they have come from China last week or the waiter of the Italian restaurant has been there. Even my mum told me that the other day she had a fight with a woman because she old her what she was doing buying in a Chinese shop and my mom told her that they don’t have the virus more than the rest of the people who is leaving in Spain, and the woman insisted and my mom end up saying you are a racist. And come in the shop and the woman was in the street saying that she is not, because here is an insult that someone tells you racist. 

Anyway, after reading all the situations with the black people I understood how different their reality is from mine, and I can understand that some people even if it’s just for fun can traumatize them without realizing that they are human and can be hurt. And then I started to think about how obsess we are with white than we even turn food white than naturally is not, like rice, bread, pasta… Or other things we use like white folios (and if they are recycled are brown) or even the wc paper.

I have also understood that everything is fear. I think it all came from they stopped to be slaves and the white people who has treated them bad was afraid that the people who had been treated so bad by them could be better than them. And this fear turned into treating them like they were less, or ridiculiza them for generations, just to make sure they will never be better and make the white people be the bad.

Which takes me to the thought that maybe there is “bad people” (for me would be more wounded people that don’t know how to heal and deal with their emotions) and “good people” (happy people), but we should learn that there is no difference in white, black, brown, Chinese, any religions, they all have good things and bad thing and they all have good people and bad people. And it’s not a competition about who is better than who, we should just be.

I’ve looking at different videos of different people, and I want to read more books or even reread some of the books I have with this new perspective, and learn more about what black people has to teach us because for the moment what i’ve learnt in the videos and books is so interesting, and the music I have discovered these days is so good and I just wish I have discovered them before. 

Finally I am so sad to know that there is people who has been suffering that pain for years and that I have never even imagined. It’s true that after seeing Lisa Nichols in “The Secret” I was a big fan of her and always was surprised that she thought about being a white woman to see her beautiful for honestly I didn’t paid to much attention like if it was something weird that happened to her, never thought it was something that a lot of black people was thinking. But when I heard Preston Smiles talking about the doll experiment and telling us that the children it doesn’t matter where they are from choose the white doll when they think about beautiful really shocked me. Innocently, I thought that we’d choose the one that looks like us. And honestly, I am not even sure which books I’ve read about black people, or if the books I’ve read from Maya Angelou or bell hooks talk about that because even if they are my favorite books (specially “All about love”) I didn’t remember she was black until I saw her book in a list of black books that have appeared these days. 

The good thing about all that happening is that now we know that and we have the power to change. We have the power to teach our children that we all are good, to show them more character black, white, Chinese, wherever. To teach them to treat all beings with respect and to create a better world always listening before we speak. 


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